How to Be a Good Husband?

If love is wholly defined as a virtue, then being a good husband involves more than loving your wife. It involves time, understanding, words and work. Here are some tips which you may follow to make your marriage a happy one and become a good husband to your wife.

Be her pillar and help her achieve her goals and dreams.

To supplement her goals and dreams the best way I can, I am committed to being her supporter, positive influence, and motivator. One thing I try to ensure is that I am fully aware of what her goal and aspirations entail to help her as she goes along.

Regardless of what it is that she wishes to do or achieve which may be in her own personal life, her career, her school work, or her artwork, I want to be the voice that she turns to for advice, motivation and assistance throughout the entire course and process. I enjoy small victories the same way I would enjoy the big successes and that keeps me going most of the time. Because she has shared with me details of what she wants to achieve, I am able to generate ideas, make relevant recommendations, come up with potential constraints and find ways around these to overcome them as we move forward.

It is my duty to encourage her dreams rather than quell them. That means moving out of the way and being willing to give of oneself when necessary to make room for her to start pushing forward to make her vision a reality. This may appear as managing additional chores at home during the peak seasons of her business or taking days off to attend career milestones. I try to take some of the burden off her so she doesn’t have so much to worry about.

Be an Active Listener being a Husband

Listening actively is important for couples, as it enables healthy marriages. This is because as a husband, simply listening to my wife and ensuring that I make an effort to listen carefully and earnestly to what she says makes her feel appreciated. It enhances our emotional communication which builds trust between partners.

If my wife is speaking, then I listen to her talking or telling something and avoid any interruptions. I keep looking her in the eye, put down my phone or anything else in my hand and just listen to her without interruption. I listen to her without interrupting her or making comments. At times, the impulse to interrupt her and correct what I perceive as her misconceptions isdifficult to suppress, but I must avoid talking until she is done.

She also appears to be an intelligent lady by the way she speaks, and I always take my time to think before responding. I do not predetermine what I will say next or how I will recover from the incident. My part as her husband is simply to try and understand what she is conveying rather than to provide suggestions or criticism. If I do not clearly understand something I then seek for further explanation. To sum up, paraphrasing what I have heard demonstrate to others that I have been an active listener.

The topic of active listening has been proven to enrich marriage and, in my case, learning how to improve this aspect of communication has benefited my marriage significantly. My wife feels better and the connection with her is deeper as she can share her thoughts and feelings with me. Another aspect where I have improved a lot is the ability to realize how she might feel about something whenever I am trying to help her. The idea to leave with her is to ensure that she has a chance to come to me with anything she wants/needs to share.

Share Chores Equitably

Now, on matters of equality, as a husband myself, I think it is fair and rightful to share household duties with my wife. Honestly, we both have jobs and we are both adults living in this particular house. The chores should not be performed mostly by my wife even though that is the long-standing tradition in most societies. I do not expect my wife to assume certain duties as long as I also do not assume that certain chores fall under my domain.

Since sometimes, I may not be very perceptive to realize that there are dirty dishes accumulating in the sink or when the floor is due for vacuuming, I appreciate my wife informing me should she think that I am neglecting my share of chores. I know she does not work for me or report to me as her boss so it is not her duty to ‘run’ me or remind me of what needs to be done. Thus, I try to follow the instructions, make suggestions, and do the assigned tasks and contribute as much as I should.

My aim is to make my wife feel more like a colleague in my life than a house help or someone who needs to work two jobs in order to keep the home running. I still try each day to find those little things that can help her such as washing the clothes, cleaning the house or preparing something special for her to eat without having her tell me to do it. I wish to show that I appreciate my wife by taking a fair share of work in the home so as to show my respect and support for the efforts she puts into managing home and other activities in the outside world.

The quintessential secret for any husband, therefore, lies in noticing these efforts, helping out occasionally without necessarily announcing that you are doing so because you want to be appreciated, and realizing that housework is not solely a woman’s responsibility. Home sharing requires both a freedom of speech and the proper attitude in order to equally split chores between two people. However, the benefits of experiencing less stress, more focused teamwork, and consolidating a stronger marriage makes it highly worth the endeavor.

Give Acts of Service

In your quest to build intimacy, try to identify simple tasks that you can perform for your wife to alleviate her daily burdens. It suggests the simple things like bringing her coffee in the morning before she wakes up, taking her car for refueling whenever the fuel gauge is low, or going to pick her dry cleaning. Try to notice simple things around the house that would not be very pleasant to do but she could definitely utilize your assistance with – she will feel appreciated.

Acknowledge Her Contributions

Remind your wife that all that she does for your family and relationship is valued and appreciated. Remind her how much you like the dinner she prepared, tell her you are grateful for her managing the bills, or compliment her on a particular refurbishing job she did around the house. Affirm the efforts she puts and this will make her continue to give.

Make Time to Connect

It is also relevant to carry on with your dates with the spouse after the wedding. Make special time for each other and this may mean dedicating the nights or the weekend when there are no children around. As an example, leave all your gadgets behind you, if you feel that you need a babysitter to look after your kids, then go for it, and engage in activities that will enable you to concentrate fully on your wife. The couple time will create more intimacy and entertainment in your marriage.

Give Sincere Compliments

Remember to give your wife compliments or express your appreciation of her in some form to ensure that she knows she is appreciated by you. Spot a new piece of clothing she has purchased and makes her wear it, and then comment on it by saying that it looks good on her. Remember one thing she did good at something she did at work, at home, or something creative and tell her you appreciate it. Will your words be a moment of encouragement for her?

Say “Thank You”

It is important that gratitude is something that is said on a regular basis between you and your spouse. Compliment your wife in words for everyday chores and little and big things she does, like packing your lunch, arranging your business travel, standing by you when you are overwhelmed with work pressure. Complements from you will be very helpful in making her feel appreciated in the position she holds.

Always Admit the Truth

Admitting the truth when one is wrong is one of the vital attributes that characterize civil individuals.
Thus, it is applicable to be a good husband that you have to learn how to say sorry to you wife. If you were mistaken in an argument or have treated your wife unjustly, then apologize for it. Avoid defending yourself and making her the one to blame for whatever you did to cause the pain. Own up to it and inform her that you will try to do a better job managing such incidences in the future. Your humility will assist in fixing the relationship hurts.

Let her know that she is loved

Make sure you give your wife the love she deserves by telling her how much you love her and showing her on daily basis. Kiss, hug and tell her sweet things, write her love notes, surprise her with an unexpected call, take her hand while walking on the streets, buy her experiences rather than things, snuggle when watching movies. She will be relieved and content with this because her husband is willing to demonstrate how much he loves her.

As an interesting question, how does the title suggestion “Being the Best Husband She Deserves” sound? Should you require me to make any changes to the draft of the article below or add more information, kindly notify me. My goal was to give brief and comprehensive pieces of advice that would make one a good husband following general relationship advice


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